Watch the I-Files video on women’s life in Afghanistan and the interview with Khaled Hosseini posted below on the blog and then respond to as many of the following questions as you feel inclined. Try to engage with each other’s responses.
1) In a way that Margaret Atwood’ Surfacing was not, this novel is aimed at a very broad popular audience with one of its main functions being to bring to life in its pages for a western audience the everyday struggles of individuals in Aghanistan, a land that most of us may never visit. Do you think that Hosseini is successful in his quest to allow foreigners a true insight into Afghanistan’s historical and individual struggles? are there any false notes that strike for you? Anything unconvincing or uncomfortable?
2) In his interview, Hosseini says that in this novel he presents Kabul and its transformation as a character. Do you agree with him? Does the city take on a life of its own? Where?
3) What do you feel are Hosseini’s main goals in his presentation of his characters? Does he want to evoke sympathy or understanding for Aghanistan (Kabul?) or its individuals? Do you feel the story is broader than that? That he manages a tale of human struggle and endeavor? Do his sympathies lie primarily with the female characters or can we also sympathize with the male characters? Which ones?
4) What does Jalil’s treatment of Mariam say about him? About his culture? How do you feel about him?
5) What about Rasheed? Is his treatment of Mariam and Laila a result of his nature or his culture? Does the author evoke in us as readers complex emotions toward the male characters? Can you pinpoint a passage or two as example?
6) At the beginning Mariam imagines what might have happened if she had gone back to her mother when the driver told her to. What would you have done in Mariam’s position when Jalil did not show up as promised for the birthday treat?
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4) I think Jalil’s treatment of Mariam is very polarizing. Jalil is generous and loving when it is acceptable, but holds her at arm’s length otherwise. I don’t completely blame Jalil for his treatment of Mariam because I can’t understand the pressure of his culture. It is heartbreaking from Mariam’s perspective, but I think that’s the point: what happens to decent people under a harsh culture. The pressure of Jalil’s culture creates this heartbreak for Mariam and makes a culture so foreign relatable to the reader because most can have both empathy and sympathy with the heartbreak of a child. Being able to identify with that feeling is not just feeling sympathy for Mariam, but indirectly feeling sympathy for the women in the Afghan culture which I think is Hosseini’s motive. Once readers can identify with a foreign culture they will start to care enough to support actual change whereas before they may have been supportive of women’s rights in the Afghan culture, but uninvolved.
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As for me I think otherwise. If you can’t love and take care of your own children then don’t birth them. Yes it’s true that Jalil have 3 wife and 9 kids and the the culture look down on women but that does not mean that he should treated his own kid like a mistake. Especially when he’s a rich and powerful business man. I believe Jalil fail as a father period.
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I agree with the statement that if you won’t take care of your family, then don’t have them. However, mistakes are made and the attempt to fix them, no matter how small, should not go unnoticed.
Hosseini, in the video and derived from the book, says that Jalil is conflicted to take care of Mariam and hide her from society because of cultural issues. It is admirable to me that Jalil makes an attempt to still be a father to Mariam no matter how sad of an attempt we think it is. Compared to some “fathers” in first world countries who evade paying child support and being a father to their children, Jalil, in an oppressive culture where children out of wedlock are so frowned upon, is more of a father than some people if not most.
Although the focus of the novel is on the oppression of women in Afghanistan, men are also showed to be oppressed. Not by much, but they still are. Jalil is inhibited by his culture to be a better father to his child. Throughout his time in the book, he is shown to have a constant internal struggle as to what to do with Mariam. He wants to accept her, but he cannot.
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1) Margaret Atwood’s Surfacing more indirectly described Canadian culture while Khaled’s descriptions are more in depth. Through his characterization of different characters you can see all the aspects of Afgan culture and how it is acceptable to act depending on your social status. His detailed descriptions create an image of a country that is hard to fathom even exist. The culture is such a shock to an audience who has never been exposed to the daily struggles Afgan women deal with every single day. A lot of the content of the novel makes me uncomfortable but I think that’s the point that the author is trying to make. Life for Mariam is not and never will be “comfortable” which is sad because she has absolutely zero control over who her parents are.
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Hosseini clearly feels more sympathy for the women in this story who are treated as sub-human and have practically no choice in what happens to them. But his interview and the other video also acknowledge that men have limited options and a limited perspective because of their education and the expectations of their culture.
I think Jalil would be a coward no matter what culture he lived in. He provides for Mariam, but only as long as she’s out of his real life. He’s backed into a corner because of propriety so he won’t keep her at home. But the least he could do is be honest to Mariam. He evades her questions and requests to spare her from the truth that she’s a disruption to his life. Deep in her heart Mariam knows this, but she has to learn the hard way, and it breaks her heart. Interestingly, once Mariam is in his house, Jalil’s wives seem to take control of what happens to Mariam. Jalil won’t acknowledge his accountability and turns it around on her for putting him in a difficult position. He won’t stand up for her because it would be inconvenient for him.
At first we’re not sure what to think of Rasheed. He does some genuinely sweet things for Mariam and for the first time in her life she feels valued and content. But he takes advantage of her sexually because, as her husband in this culture, that’s his right. He values her as a wife, not as an individual, and he turns into a monster when, by no fault of her own, she can’t give him what he wants. The lengths to which he punishes her is a result of his violent and disrespectful nature, not his culture.
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I like what Sanam said about him at least making an attempt to be a father, however sad and puny it was. But he DID come and see her…
But every time he came, I felt like it was a show. We come to find out that it WAS, as he didn’t act the same when she came to his house, but it was as if he was trying to make himself feel better for what he did. And yet he crumpled under his wives’ pressure… hmm but aren’t the men supposed to have the final word? Yes, but it’s as if he is a huge coward, like he let the wives be his voice and he just agreed…
I too probably would have went on to see what could be holding Jalil up on my birthday, if I was Mariam. Sure, it would be scary, but not showing up like that is unacceptable. I feel like I would be suspicious and want to know what was so much more important than me. The whole time I was reading about his visits I felt suspicious, but I could understand why Mariam saw him in such a heroic light – he was her father, after all, and he came and made an effort for her. But yet, it was not a full effort, I felt like if it was me, I would feel like it wasn’t enough and want to know why…
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